I have to share this joke that my Mum sent me (thanks Mum) as it’s a wee ripper:
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and starts drinking a sip out of each in turn. The barman asks him why and the Irishman tells him he has two brothers, one in the US, the other in Australia.
“When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. Then one day, he comes in and orders only two pints. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says: “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.”
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then laughs.
“Oh, no,” he says, “everyone’s fine. I’ve just quit drinking.”