As if the news bulletins and morning news rags weren’t already plastered enough with stories of the enthralling (tongue firmly planted in side of cheek) US Presidential race *go Obama*, Canada’s embattled Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, came out yesterday and announced that Canadian’s would also be going to polls, on October 14th.
Regardless of what you think about politics in general, it has to be said that the US election race is, at least, somewhat interesting if only for the diverse nature of the candidates vying for the unenviable position as head of a less-than-liked nation. They’ve got a fresh, history-making black gentleman backed up by a well respected and likable senator; going up against an old war veteran with old ideals supported by a gun-toting, lipstick-brandishing hockey Mum. What a circus!
The Canadian election, on the other hand, has a bunch of pretty “vanilla” people vying for a pretty “vanilla” position, albeit the top job in easily one of the best and most beautiful countries in the world.
I guess that’s what prompted the following piece published in this morning’s “The Province”:
Top 10 ways the U.S. election is sexier than ours
- Their chief candidates: One is extremely white and the other a precedent-setting black.
Our chief candidates: Beige, beige, beige and beige.
- U.S.: Media powerhouse Oprah Winfrey threw her estimable sway behind Barack Obama early on.
Canada: Alan Hamel has yet to weigh in.
- Their bogus Internet rumour that will not die: Obama is a Muslim.
Our bogus Internet rumour that will not die: Duceppe giggles during Good Friday mass.
- Their female candidate, Sarah Palin: Hunts moose, lays pipeline and believes that U.S. soldiers are at war in Iraq to fulfill “God’s plan”.
Our female candidate, Elizabeth May: Has a bike.
- John McCain: Tortured by the North Vietnamese for five long years.
Jack Leyton: Once had some bad Chinese.
- A major U.S. policy sounds earth-shaking: The “Iraq Surge”.
A major Canadian policy sounds like something you’d wear to a patio party: The “Green Shift”.
- An American chief executive can only be elected twice.
“Chretien in 2012″ – a very real possibility.
- Whoever is elected president will preside over a button that can usher in worldwide nuclear conflagration.
Whoever is elected prime minister will preside over a button that will alert his wife that he has locked himself out of the house again.
- If the next U.S. president is an African-American: History making.
If the next Canadian PM is from Quebec: Not so much.
- Their right-wing candidate John McCain wants to bomb that snake pit of aggressive, fundamentalist Islam, Iran.
Our right-wing Prime Minister Stephen Harper wants to bomb that snake pit of leftist, dope-smoking hippie-ism, Nelson.
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