masey » Comedy

The Darwin Ice Hockey Club

masey — Sun, 22 May 2011 12:10:32 +0000

Words CANNOT describe how AWESOME Vegemite’s new TV ad campaign is, which aims to toast everyday Aussies for doing extraordinary things.

Upon my return from New Zealand this evening, I happened to catch the following ad which looks at the prestigious, World Champion, “Darwin Ice Hockey Club”. I know, all my friends up there in the “Great White North” are probably thinking, “Eh? What kind of gong show is this?”

Well, just check out the video below. You guys may cringe at Vegemite itself (you know, that brown spread stuff we all put on our toast), but I’m betting you’re going to LOVE this ad!

PS. The slap shot on goal at 1:18min is something else, eh?

BBC’s Walk on the Wild Side

masey — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 22:39:04 +0000

If, by chance, you haven’t come across the wonderful BBC series “Walk on the Wild Side” yet, I’m giving you the opportunity below to catch up on the hilarious series. The premise is simple. Take various cuts of award-winning, archived BBC wildlife footage and overlay it with comedic voice overs.

A simple idea that has brilliant comedic value. My ribs hurt right now from the chuckle-fest I just had putting this post together!

Which is your favourite animal featured in the series of previews below? The lonely, single Gorilla with an audible problem… or something else? Let me know in the comments section below.

Mr Old Spice’s manly words of wisdom

masey — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 06:51:15 +0000

In my ongoing admiration for the new “Old Spice Guy” marketing campaign launched recently by Old Spice, it seems only fit that I cover the manly man’s online activities that took the Internet by storm throughout today.

It seems that of late, the Old Spice Guy has become somewhat of a “go-to-guy” when it comes to online citizens needing honest and straightforward answers to life’s pressing questions. And as of this morning via Old Spice’s YouTube channel, the Old Spice Guy began to disperse his infinite manly wisdoms in a barrage of personalised messages that quickly went viral and prompted thousands of questions to be hurtled into cyberspace his way.

If you’re the studious worker type and missed, or ignored the show as it unfolded today, here’s a selection of the better response videos that were doing the rounds…

A Chain Letter by Billy Connolly

masey — Wed, 20 May 2009 06:53:33 +0000

I just received this gem in my inbox from none other than my parents. I have to warn everyone though, the following is a piece of comic genius about ‘chain letters’ from Billy Connolly which means, of course, it contains some pretty graphic language.

So, if you are offended in any way by strong language (especially when presented by a hairy Scotsman), please avoid casting your eyes over the following and instead click here to view some more family friendly material.

For the rest of you, I present, ‘A Chain Letter by Billy Connolly’.

“Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send ‘his’ email?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

Fuck ‘em!!

If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.

I’ve seen all the ‘send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being’ forwards about 90 times. I don’t fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it’s our own unpopularity.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it’s funny, send it on.

Don’t piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly

PS. Send me 15 bucks and then fuck off.”

25 Things I Hate About Facebook

masey — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 06:07:35 +0000

If, like a lot of people these days (me included), the novelty of the once awesome “Facebook” is wearing off on you, then you’re going to love this little ditty nicely edited together by some fella called Julian Smith.

I gotta say, I found myself saying “A-men” to pretty much every single point brought up. What do you think?

Twouble With Twitter

masey — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 06:39:52 +0000

Being a relative newbie to the whole Twitter phenomena myself, I’m still learning the ins and outs of the hottest new social networking service on the web, including the subtle points of etiquette that are so often not exercised by a lot of ‘Tweeters’ out there.

You know, Tweets like “Just woke up”. We’ve all let out a collective groan while thinking to ourselves, “who really cares???”.

While I like to think (fingers crossed) I’ve never been guilty of such dreary and banal Twitter dribble myself, I certainly have been on the receiving end of many a Tweet that has left me yawning and/or shaking my head.

The clever and entertaining folk at SuperNews! and current.com have put together a very funny short animation (see below) titled ‘Twouble with Twitter’, which pretty much highlights all that is wrong with the Twitter experience and sections of it’s user base. In a way, however, the video serves as a great little etiquette guide – just avoid becoming guilty of all of the points poked at in the 4:30 minute flick.

All I can say is watch it, laugh at it and more importantly – learn from it!

What’s one of your pet peeves about Twitter? Did you receive a Tweet about what someone ate for lunch today? Tell me about it in the comments section below.

PS. If you enjoy this animation, make sure you check out more SuperNews! offerings such as the following:

Obama Hits the AIG Spot
Becks strikes the USA (Skeletor McBoobs – hahahaha!)
The Hills

Ricky Gervais: New Hero of Comedy

masey — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 07:22:44 +0000

Stumbled across this gem of a series of videos while searching for some standup pieces by my absolute favourite comic of the moment – Ricky Gervais. The videos form somewhat of a “This is Your Life” piece with various friends and esteemed peers from the entertainment industry such as Billy Connelly, Chris Rock and Michael Palin giving small testimonial bites about Ricky.

It features some clips of his recent stand-up performances and is really worth watching when you get the time.

The Doghouse… a tutorial of sorts

masey — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 06:58:25 +0000

The age old question posed by many a man over the ages “how did I end up in the doghouse?”, has been creatively covered by the folk of JC Penney’s jewelry store.

In the space of roughly four and a half entertaining minutes, not only do we men find out how you end up in the doghouse, but we find out what really goes on in the doghouse and even how to attempt to stay out of the K9 quarters.

I love, love, love this viral video. I love the concept, I love the execution and I love the crazy fella wearing the tails! Haha!

UPDATE: Another video in this series has hit YouTube and while not as good as the first, in my humble opinion, it certainly continues the story nicely.

Do you have a story about a time you ended up in the doghouse? Tell me about it in the comments section below!

Australian Tourism – The Daft Things People Say

masey — Mon, 26 May 2008 05:38:47 +0000

So this little ditty has been doing the rounds of the email circuit for a while now, so you may have already seen it before, but it’s just so funny that I figure it’s my duty to share.

When you’re overseas you get asked the darnedest things by random individuals regarding the Australian way of life. You’d swear that some people think we are only just emerging from primitive times with some of the dribble they come out with.

Supposedly, the questions below were posted to an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not … oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is … oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.

I especially love the stupidity those Americans come up with. Yes, they are the same morons who always ask Canadians, their far more civilized and intelligent cousins to the North, how they handle the Winters living in igloos. I mean really????

Will on Dubbya on Global Warming

masey — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 05:15:17 +0000

I don’t have a lot going on right now other than work, work, work, so you’ll just have to put up with my lack of “meaty” posts and be content with a few entertaining ditties I have found here and there in the meantime.

This particular TBS “ditty” is a supposed comedy sketch, performed by the masterful “Will Ferrell”, of George “Dubbya” Bush speaking about Global Warming. I say “supposed” because I’d say Will pretty much nails it in terms of the guy’s actual knowledge on the subject.

It’s kind of ironic that the guy George Bush duped in order to assume his seat in the Oval Office, has gone on to become one of the most knowledgeable and vocal proponents of climate change prevention in the world today.

Hmmmm…